About Captain Kirk
Hello,
I am just another long haired Jesus freak attempting to follow The Lord as best as I can from day to day. Jovial, yet serious would be the way that my friends describe me. I am six feet tall and wide and I hope that my heart is as large as my frame. I currently live in Sturgis Michigan, just 3 miles North of the Indiana state line.
Warning! I was born and raised and born again outside of the realm of Traditional/Institutional religion. So I have a totally different slant and approach where it comes to all things “Church” and Faith. Been in relational fellowships that many call “housechurch” since 1976. In the past 39 years I have also helped many relational fellowships start from scratch. Most of which have lasted for more than 3 years. It is amazing how well The Holy Spirit can lead churches when we “mere men” stay out of His way. The best description that I can muster concerning the true Church would be to say that they are “an ongoing conversation with everyone participating when they gather.” They are based on dialogue and NOT Sermons or monologue. It is all about relationship and shared life with Jesus and one another. We practice totally free & open, Spirit led fellowship.
My childhood was horrific. I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my father from ages 4-11. When I was just 13 he hit me in the head with a shovel and left me for dead by the side of the road. The ONLY thing that kept me alive through all that was JESUS. Jesus was there and HE comforted and held me and spoke to me, long before I ever encountered ANY type of church. Jesus spoke with me for 7 years before I ever read a bible. I looked for years to find the church that Jesus described to me, but it could simply not be found. So we just had to try and BE one ourselves.
Because of the abuse I endured as a child, I have been plagued with PTSD and major depression for the past 19 years. I have tried a plethora of things to be free of the horrible flashbacks related to the abuse, including prayer, deliverance, psychiatric medications, inpatient hospitalizations and various therapies. Nothing helped much until a friend of mine, originally from Australia, suggested EMDR. In the past 6 years EMDR has helped create new neuropathways so that I can process old information like the flashbacks. This has greatly reduced the frequency and duration of my PTSD episodes and as of today I have had zero full episode flashbacks in the last 6 years. The result of having endured the original abuse and reliving it in flashbacks is that I have very deep empathy for other people struggling with all sorts of problems. If not for God’s grace we are all just a few seconds away from being in some extremely difficult situations that we could never imagine happening to us.
A counselor by trade, with addictions as a specialty (been clean for 39 years) I have never taken ANY salary from churches for anything. I even travel at my own cost. Very rarely have I ever even accepted love gifts to help pay for my travel expenses.
My passions are Jesus, my family, The Church and the needs of others. I started this blog after much prayer and counsel from my friends. Through it I hope to help others find Jesus and true fellowship in their lives
Love,
Christopher
P.s. If you ever need prayer support or help beginning a free & open, Spirit led home fellowship do not hesitate to call me at 269-221-1266
“Most would rather endure comfortable bondage, than experience uneasy freedom.”
2018 UPDATE:
I married the love of my life and my perfect match in Christ Talena Jean on 4/21/2018. We are now living in Bellingham Washington just 3 miles from the Pacific ocean, 15 miles from the mountains and 17 miles from Canada. A new house church began here when I visited here in January and is thriving. Flashbacks are few and far between and life is very, very good for us here now.
notesfromthebridge 
I hope this is all you need it to be to help you along the way. ❤
Site is up and working!
Nice start, Chris. Keep going. Writing from the heart is itself a therapy. This quote is part of it, something I find it a constant goad to be absolutely honest to God and with God: “Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.” (Psalms 51:6)
Way to go, Captain!
It’s all about Him, and it’s so cool how you recognize that He was with you during all the tough times.
Spock out.
well done captain chris – i particularly like your blog on the dangers of worshipping the bible – it articulates some thoughts i’ve had as well – blessings on your journey. c
Looks like a great blog. I am just starting the journey for simple/relational church. Your quote at the top is a great one filled with truth. My blog with my journey and resources is mikepenner.wordpress.com
Hope to follow you as I journey.
Good stuff Chris, keep up the good work that you may be a blessing and encouragement to others.
“The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.”
Num 6:24-26
Thanks Mark and Mike! I appreciate the encouragement.
Love, Chris
I agree with you 100% I came out of the traditional institutional church after 30 years. Got involved in a house church for some times where Jesus Is the all in all. We did not allowed Him to be the guest of the meeting we desired for Him to be the host of the meeting. For 30 years when I was in the traditional church it always felt like someone was setting on my shoulders which made it very difficult to move in the things of God, but when I left the institution the excess weight left my shoulders and I was able to move in the things of God. So my brother keep writing and may the Lord bless you and your family. PS; Do you know who Frank Viola is if don,t I recommend his books.
Thanks for the comment Ed. Yes I know Frank V.
God be with you my friend. Thank you for the nice comment on my blog. Yours is excellent! Nice tone and clear heart of God!
To God be the Glory Captain. There is more freedom outside the trad church.
God bless you Chris for just being who you are
Thanks Ann! I appreciate you.
Thank you for starting this Chris! Not to mention I am so proud of you! You have walked quite a walk in life (as we have all endured some sort of unique travel), but you are using your knowledge and skills to help those around you, thank you so much. I have just recently been reaching back out to the Lord, and the Blessings keep coming. I am not saying my life is perfect, but I do notice when I do not follow through with church and prayer, things go a bit haywire, if you know what I mean. You are a courageous soul, with great insight. I feel blessed to be able to be a part of learning from you, as you have much to teach, as it will help me on my own journey in life and my career as well. Again thank you Chris for being who you are, that special, wonderful, insightful man who is reaching out to do good for those who are seeking or needing you. There are many like us, (who want to reach out), but few who do it as we do.
Ann, Thank you for those very kind words. I am just a brother trying to walk out my faith as best as I can. Blessings to you and the journey you are on.
We love these blogs. It’s been quite the journey, but Chris, you are being used and it’s been awesome to watch and to be a part of. Love ya Buddy
Hey Chris- I appreciate you sharing your journey with us. Blessings-
Your blogs are challenging and thought provoking Chris. Thanks for sharing with us.
Chris,
really enjoyed your testimony. I linked to your blog from Ross Rhodes, who I’ve been reading for a year. In a traditional church, but from a evangelistic standpoint really like this organic gathering. Do you make housecalls?
Sure Jonathan I love to come visit folks.
Thanks man! I’m thinking later this year, but lets continue this via email jonathanparham@hotmail.com
Lovely to ‘stumble’ upon this blog Chris, via a comment you left on Michael Clark’s site. I went backward and commented before reading this part! I look forward to reading your point of view regularly.
Brief synopsis, my husband and I (I sound like the Queen) have been out of the organised church for over 20 years and have lived a hermit like existence for the past ten on a large, very isolated property in Northern NSW Australia. The last two years God has been leading us to visit the Sunshine Coast Qld, where I have family, and to put our noses back into the church to find some friends. It’s an interesting journey! Bless you for your honesty and vulnerability.
hey Thanks for your complete honesty, which is the way we all should be. We’ve been out of the box for some time now, after trying to get out a few times before but listening to the judement and condemnation people in the box were place on us and feeling mass guilty. statements like ‘you cant be a part of the body of Christ unless your in a church’ Mmm nice encourging words from one’s brethren. We came out due to all the control in the main.Now we are out and we are ok with that. We have read Frank Viola stuff, and Stan Firth, read articles by Wayne Jacobeson etc. Do wish we had some like minded people locally however, gets a bit lonesome at times as most of our friends are in the box and simply dont understand where we are at, I still remember a pray time we had with some ‘ Lord please show Jim and June which church they are supposed to be in’ I laugh when I think ‘He already has’
Very inspirational and encouraging, I have been in church for 20+ years and like one of your bloggers said, it’s like someone sitting on your shoulders everything you do is weighed down. I would like to hear more about your housechurch. I really like the whole concept and I believe the Holy Spirit has lead me to your blog and shown me others who are moving away from organised church.
How does one start a “housechurch”? I have been a member of the church of Christ for over 35 years and I still find the quest of members in being right over one another rather than right in the sight of God perplexing. I have found all of your articles and information interesting, informative, and edifying. I found out about you by divine intervention from of all places Facebook. I am very much desiring to know and study more of that which you write. Please let me know of how I can be a part of this movement to break free from the constraints of men and follow Christ only. May the Lord bless and keep you! Paula Davis
Welcome Paula! I sent you an email just earlier. I look forward to conversing with you concerning relational churching.
Christopher, we have similar pasts (although yours sounds more severe than some of mine) and I understand very well much of what you have to share and I’m grateful for your referral to EMDR which I will look into. So very glad to connect with you and thank you for your courage to be transparent and share your life in this way. I try to do the same and I know it can be hard work but it gives so much to others and as you no doubt know too, it allows people to love us instead of the masks we wear.
Blessings to you my friend.
Thanks for the recognition Bart. I will be praying for you. If I can help you in any way please don’t hesitate to ask. Blessings to you ad well friend.
Such an amazing testimony! I feel blessed to have met you and now being part of the fellowship group. Since the camping trip, God is revealing things to me about traditional religion. I look forward to reading more of your blogs and will pray for you and your ministry. Hopefully we’ll cross paths again someday. Love in Christ, Lloyd Tucket
Thanks Lloyd, It was great to meet you last night.
Wow, long time no see/hear. I remember you from early internet chat rooms and HCDL maybe 97 or so? I was pretty confused back then, had only been a believer for a couple years when the Lord had us in Jeremiah and showed us what institutional religion was and its contrast with what He wants. So I sought out others to help and found HCDL, my handle was Skylight^ anyway, good to see you again Kirk. Thanks to the internet, we have developed some precious precious relationships that have lasted. Even though we are currently without a Body per se, we pray for it and welcome it in God’s timing.
Yes Skylla, I have fond memories of our past discussions. Relationships are what it is all about.
Dear Chris,
As Bart Breen said, my past slightly resembles yours – but not as bad – no sexual abuse.
I’ve visited various -size groups claiming to be ‘believer churches’ but found the same problems and more – including, one “pastor” who denied me water baptism unless I rejected clear Spirit -taught doctrine and bowed to him — his words, “That all sounds very fine, but **I AM ** saying it is wrong.”
Regarding your flashbacks, I too have had similar experiences, with major anger, hatred, bitterness, resentment, fantasies about revenge (including, for some, the ‘miraculous’ death of my past tormentor) etc. accompanying the replay of various incidents in my mind. When I queried the Most Holy Spirit why these unholy things kept coming into mind, the answer that came, after a long while to let me learn and fix in my mind each odf those poisons, was succinct: “You have not forgiven them”. (!!!)
Earlier, as a Roman Cultist, I thought i’d dealt with it, and forgiven these from my past – but here was this terrifying answer – for if we don’t forgive our debtors, our sins aren’t either! (Mat 18:35, Mark 11:26)
After a while of attempting self-justification, whining that i’d forgiven them, I shut up and waited for His teaching, which followed soon.
in March 2012, I’d had a deadly accident, following which it was pretty darn impossible for me to carry out some of the simplest things I used to do ‘on my own’, without continually begging His help (also to prevent me screaming and cussing from the pain).A sizeable time after this period had passed, He brought this to my mind, seemingly in response to my query. After i’d chewed that child-like turning to Him over for a while, He dropped in my mind the fragment, “if he withdrew his spirit, all humanity would perish”. That took a lot of chasing down, having first studied the NIV, then having switched to KJV, but it’s Job 34:14-15. Combine that with Job 33:4 KJV The Spirit of God hath made me, and the breath of the Almighty hath given me life. And (prompted to search for ‘breath life’ ) connect with Job 12:10, Gen 2:7, 6:17, 7:22.
It turns out that all the boasts of yoga practitioners and PE coaches notwithstanding, not even the world’s most developed diaphragm muscles can forcefully take that next breath of life – unless the True Creator of the heavens and the earth allow it, by letting His Spirit of the breath of life remain on earth! !
But the message of hope, as it slowly percolated, was, ‘if I can’t take my next breath without His help, why should I try to forgive on my own, without His help?’
In quite a few Scripture verses about the Holy Spirit, where the KJV renders it ‘Comforter’, other translations render it ‘Helper’. The One Who helps. And when He helps us even by giving life to the mortal bodies in which He dwells, why not also supply us with all we need to forgive our debtors?
So, I tried asking Him, “Most Holy Spirit of the True Maker of the heavens and the earth, please help me forgive my debtors, bringing each to mind as You will.”
The results were gratifying for me; over time, the slighter wounds faded to the point I could think of them and yet not have those old evil results; for deeper wounds, it took more repeated prayer likre this to bring me freedom from the pain.
Understand that I’m not raining on the EMDR parade or whatever; I’m just sharing what has worked for me by relying on our Helper/Comforter, without relying on human effort, which didn]t work for me. A lot of the awildernessvoice.com articles have endorsed,then led further on this theme, which I’ve ben learning over recent weeks, that we can’t do anything to satisfy the New Testament requirements of us; only the True Christ living in us can do that – I’m begging for that, but inthe meanwhile, why not reduce my load of what I have to forgive?
And we are commanded to test all things (1Th 5:21) so even if it sounds crazy… one can try, and discard if adjudged not good.
Peace,
Ed.
You are a blessing!!
Very good Chris. Thank you for your authentic witness of our Lord and Savior.
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Bless you Christopher!!! Glad to hear of your victory over your past. So sad to hear of children being abused and hurt by the very ones who should be caring and protecting us. Thank God he is a Father to the fatherless!!
Enjoyed reading your blog on how we are all brothers in the Lord, couldn’t agree more.
God bless you!
William
Wow, like the other, our paths were very similar except for the sexual abuse but other things may have been worse. I am one of His elect, 30 years in this flesh, but really struggling right now in my faith. I just came to the realization these past 3 years that I was raised by 2 Sociopaths who’s sole goal in life was my ruination with a smile on their faces. I left the church scene 11 years ago and have endured the “Pilgrims Progress” walk this whole time and it’s been brutal, the last “refiners fire” extinguished my love for Him and i’m on spiritual life support right now.
I read a very helpful book on CPTSD (Complex PTSD) by Pete Walker called Complex PTSD from Surviving to Thriving was a big help for me and i’ve been meaning to look into EMD real soon. My flashbacks have been waining but depression has replaced it. I like your Spirit and can relate to your articles.
Thank you Mark. It sounds like you have endured a real rough road too. I will certainly be praying for you. If I can help in other ways please let me know?
Hi Kirk,
I’m a big fan of your blog! I don’t know how long I have been following, but just started reading today… You have great stuff and I concur with you on what I’ve read so far. I especially love your tagline…
I’m glad you are using your experience to bless others, and I’m inspired by your experience with knowing Jesus, even before reading the Bible. It’s awesome how God reveals Himself to us!
Have a blessed day, and hope to see you at my blog sometime.
Love in Christ, Ufuoma.
Thank you very much for your encouragement Ufuomaee. Glad you found us.
Chris, I find it so amazing that we believe so similar and have experienced such similar things in our childhood and life. I found a long time ago that I have no regrets for any and all that happened to me as a child or as an adult because I fully believe that all things work for His Glory and everything I have experienced, has only brought me closer to Him and has made me the passionate “Jesus Freak” I am. Also, I love your blogs that I have read so far. They have made me speechless at times, and trust me.. that is a miracle, lol because we believe so similar that it’s as if, the ones I have read so far, were written by me. Thank you so very much for sharing. Talena
Wow Talena, we sure need to talk. It is amazing to know that some folks have such similar experiences to mine. I look forward to getting to know you.
You need to update your “About” page, now that you have relocated along with other major changes in your life, don’t ya think?. 🙂
yep!!!
About Captain Kirk- are you really a Captain? I didn’t see anything in your testimony that would indicate that you are a Captain. Just curious.
It is a play on words. My last name is Kirk and since my youth I gave been called Captain Kirk because of STAR TREK.
I do accept as true with all of the concepts you’ve presented for your post.
They are very convincing and will definitely work. Still,
the posts are very brief for newbies. Could you please extend them a bit from subsequent time?
Thanks for the post.
Thank you for checking out the site. We can always wxplore more deeply any of the concepts in a given post in the comments section.
Kirk, I am so impressed with your way of expression. You said it all so very well. I relate with the issues of abuse, after all I experienced as a child, which shut me down at age 5. My thought, as I reached the end of your story, was “Wow, Kirk really presents himself in such a way that any others with need to share intimately could be very comfortable and relieved to run across someone who could really understand. I have read some of your other posts, In the Facebook group, and have been VERY blessed. You have inspired me to work on my memoir, (started in 2015).
Lindy, thank you very much for those more than kind words. I do understand where you are coming from and will be praying for you as you write your story.
I saw your blog about Colossians and God’s grace in the group. I don’t see it any more. Did you delete it? I can’t remember the Scripture address. Where can I see it in your blog history. It really stirred me, allmost a crisis of belief, i.e., that before we could ever even repent, God had graced us. I know there is a huge divide between the reconciliation (actually of the whole world) and actual born again event.
Lindy, I haven’t deleted anything. Just go to: notesfromthebridge.wordpress.com and you should find it.