The Freedom To Move Forward Again
“O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me! Many are saying of me, “God will not deliver him.” Selah
But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and He answers me from His holy hill. Selah
I lie down and sleep; I wake again, because the Lord sustains me. I will not fear the tens of thousands drawn up against me on every side. Arise, O Lord! Deliver me, O my God! Strike all my enemies on the jaw; break the teeth of the wicked. From the Lord comes deliverance. May your blessing be on your people. Selah” Psalm 3
I am now in the process of living this Psalm out every day of my life. My foes are PTSD flashbacks of childhood sexual abuse and brutal rapes and they are many. Some have given up on me and are saying I will not recover from my affliction.
However, The Lord is my shield and He indeed does lift up my head. I cry out to Jesus and He rescues me, time and time again. I am now sleeping again and The Lord sustains me. I will no longer fear the multitude of flashbacks that have tried to hold me captive oh so long. I look to The Lord and He brings me deliverance.
This past week has been amazing with so many breakthroughs that I now cry tears of joy even as I write this. Jesus has invaded my dreams once again and He has driven out the enemy. Now when I have a flashback Jesus is right there with me speaking words of comfort, love and freedom. I have not felt such freedom in over 17 years.
Family members, friends and previous doctors and counselors had given up on me. However now I rise up from the ashes and I feel His hand upon me like never before. It is like a new chapter in my life is being written and I am amazed. I can now look to the future with a renewed hope and clarity of vision. Am I completely out of the woods yet? Only time will tell, but just like Jesus led me out of the woods when I was a young child, He is now in my sight again and all I want to do is follow Him.
I am very thankful for the multitude of prayers and words of encouragement that I have received from The Body Of Christ these past 17 years. Thanks also to those of you following this blog that have interceded for me countless times. I wish I could put into words how I am feeling right now, but it is so beyond words that I can’t even start. All I can say is JESUS IS AWESOME! Please allow Him to work in your life as He has in mine?
Love and ….
Kirk Out !
P.s. The last twelve days have been a challenge to endure. The most flashbacks and lack of sleep that I have faced in over four years. Still it has been less than a full blown PTSD episode and I am grateful for that fact. Three consecutive nights without sleep definitely beats nine for sure. Jesus is with me every step of the way and I know I can make it through this temporary obstacle with the direct aid of the Holy Spirit and the intercession and encouragement of my true siblings in Christ.