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Dropping The F Bomb?

December 15, 2016


One Sunday evening a while back Caleb and I visited a housechurch in Virginia.  We had an excellent time with the saints there because they made us feel right at home.  They had just the right mix of humor and irreverence and they treated each other with much love and respect.

The Spirit led topic turned out to be how we treat one another in the Body of Christ when we have differing opinions or just disagree.  Every member contributed to the conversation and the flow of the dialogue was perfect.  Of course there were times when we shared awkward silence, but when you are attempting to be real with Him and one another that is just a natural part of the ongoing exchange of ideas.

A key to being able to navigate difficult conversations together is the willingness to hear each other out without threat of judgement or condemnation.  If you truly desire free and totally open fellowship then you must surrender to the art of active listening.  Disagreements are fine as long as you can still bear with one another in love, even in the face of major differences.

The folks there in Virginia told us of a time when someone just dropped the F bomb in the middle of their fellowship time together.  They had a disagreement over some of Paul’s letters and a member strongly opposed what another had said about Paul and the F bomb was dropped.  Not in a mean or disrespectful way, but in a WTF? kind of way.  They loved Jesus and each other enough that they continued to press on through the moment together until they found sufficient resolution.  Those involved chose not to take total offense at what was shared and that acceptance allowed them to continue the ongoing conversation until they found a place of common ground and mutual agreement.

I love my hc friends in Virginia and I was able to confirm to them that you really haven’t had relational housechurch until someone drops the F bomb or blood has been drawn.  Because if you are not getting close or intimate enough for these wild things to happen, you haven’t gone deep enough in each others lives to really call it church.  If you really want to be real and authentic then you will go to any length to know and love each other deeper than what the average traditional church allows.  Traditional church avoids depth of relationship with HIM and one another like the plague, while relational church embraces it.  Give me real and slightly vulgar on any day over fake and pristine.  I need fellowship with real people with warts, farts, blemishes and all.  I desire reality, true fellowship, and not fake behavior all the time.

Love and…

Kirk Out !






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  1. Sue permalink

    Wow, I haven’t been in one of these situations yet…..looking forward to how I’ll react. Good to think of this ahead of time and how well react to the real deal. Thanks, Christopher….

    • It doesn’t happen often Sue, but when it does it is always an opportunity to learn and grow closer.

  2. We too gather in house churches and in a traditional church having fellowship with real people. We are real and authentic and close. But we do not use vulgarity. It is uncalled for. We can talk and have disagreements without foul language. We are to be holy as God is holy.  What then shall we say? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may increase? 2By no means! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer?…Romans 6:129 Let no [a]unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification [b]according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29  “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;” 1 Corinthians 6:19 Be careful. As you send out to so many people, you took many peoples minds with this one post to places that they did not need to go. You are the one responsible. 

    From: notesfromthebridge To: Sent: Thursday, December 15, 2016 9:05 PM Subject: [New post] Dropping The F Bomb? #yiv2037875778 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv2037875778 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv2037875778 a.yiv2037875778primaryactionlink:link, #yiv2037875778 a.yiv2037875778primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv2037875778 a.yiv2037875778primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv2037875778 a.yiv2037875778primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv2037875778 | oikoskrk posted: “Greetings,One Sunday evening a while back Caleb and I visited a housechurch in Virginia.  We had an excellent time with the saints there because they made us feel right at home.  They had just the right mix of humor and irreverence and they treated each” | |

    • Daniel, I am not advocating for the use of vulgar language. I am just saying we can handle it if and when it does happen. Seems you support a legalistic view of such happenings. I hope that is not the case brother.

      • Sue heumann permalink

        I felt the legalism there right away. I’m sorry …. I understand your point of view, Daniel, been there my whole life practically. The problem is that places expectations on people not everyone can live up to….thus pushes them away. I see now that is more dangerous than accepting one another and encouraging one another in love…..eventually that language may drop off as a person does become more Jesuslike….but the focus isn’t on becoming more holy as I always thought, it’s loving one another, and unity as Christ’s body on this earth. That ends up being holiness, however!

      • Great discernment Sue! We need always to err on the side of love, acceptance and forgiveness and bear with one another in Love.

  3. If we are being real, we know that there’s the opportunity for this to happen. Many times we condemn based on that instead of being forgiving. In one of the Bible studies I attend, we had a short lecture segment, and the man who was speaking said, my paraphrase, we should be more merciful and remember back to when we were in the darkness without Jesus.

  4. I greatly prefer “vulgar” authenticity to pious pretentiousness! And I’m not convinced that “the bad S-word that means poo” is necessarily a sin….

    • Welcome Norm and thanks for sharing. I agree with you. When Paul wrote I feel as low as dung..he used the Greek word skubalon which literally means shit.

  5. Judy Baker permalink

    I like real people – look at Paul . many who learned about Jesus & changed their hearts and minds . One of our full time pioneers out door to door met a house full of rough motorcycle guys. After visiting them a couple times, sharing the good news with Jesus’ Holy Spirit, a young man said he would be interested in a one on one bible study as he had many questions. Time went on and after several months and many discussions the YOUNG man cleaned himself up and visited the Kingdom Hall. No money plates were passed around and all the people could make comments by raising their hands even kids. He checked verses with his own bible. After several more months he told his friends he was leaving the group and even though many made fun of him, he remained calm and determined in his decision. Anywhere sincere people gather in Jesus’ name, His Holy Spirit is there. If people learn from the Bible through Holy Spirit, it can change the hardest heart. With BEWARE OF DOG SIGN – DANGER – the YOUNG Sister gave the Bible discussion to a couple brothers. She said she just felt drawn to witness to the bikers in that old worn out house. Paul became what he had to do to witness to people of all sorts. Jesus’ teachings are becoming more & more in all the world. Organized religion has failed . People are meeting in private homes and Jesus’ Holy Spirit is with them. Continue on making disciples in all the earth.

    • Thanks for sharing Judy. It is amazing how Christ change and equip us for any situation. Paul became all things to all “men” so that some could be saved.

  6. "BK" permalink

    I believe we can correct the situation (language) without being judgemental or condemning. Each case on its own merit, of course. Sometimes a word just slips out and I often don’t say anything. If it’s a continued way of expression I simply let them know I’m not comfortable with it (can’t give you an example of what to say… just comes out when needed, unrehearsed) and ask them to refrain. Now that’s in my own home. If I’m on the streets, or at someone else’s house, then that could be different. We had a brother living with us for a year or so who came to know Jesus after dealing and using drugs for the better part of his 50 some year. His language was not the best but knowing where he came from we weren’t jumping on his vulgarity. One day he was pretty crass and sexual talking with me so I did call him on it and told him I’d prefer him not to talk that way to me. He told me off and called me legalistic, and a few other choice names. No more was said. We were in a gathering shortly thereafter and one sister kept referring to a scripture she wanted read but discussion overrode her again and again. Finally this brother, who was sitting between Ken & I, said, “I’ll read the verse for you” opened up his Bible and read out loud, “Let no foul language come from your mouth nor dirty talking…..” something to that effect in the translation he had. He looked back and forth between Ken & I and I was laughing and said, “We said NOTHING!” He took it as from the Lord and began to clean up the language after that. Just one example of how the Lord can handle these things. I don’t believe we have to be legalistic, nor loose. Jesus has it all in hand. He can handle it. Love, “BK”

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