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No Compromise

January 21, 2016


“For You have been my hope, O Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth.”  Psalm 71: 5

Jesus has walked deep with me and been an active force in my life ever since I can remember.  When I was very young He taught me His ways of love, grace, and forgiveness.  He also taught me about His church, the Body of Christ and how it should function.  All this was long before I ever encountered a bible or a church, but when I got a bible from the Gideon’s at school in fifth grade; I discovered that the written word only served to confirm all that Christ had already been revealing to me all those years.

However, when I finally went to some “churches” when I was about 14… I discovered that much of what they taught and practiced went directly against what Jesus and the bible had shown me.  Instead of finding a fully functioning Body of Christ where every member was valuable and important…I found a few “men” called Pastors who dominated all the sharing and ministry while all the other members sat quietly in their pews and chairs.  When I publicly questioned the Leadership about this tragedy they dismissed me very quickly and I was told to not come back there ever again.

This all happened shortly after my earthly father hit me in the head with a shovel and left me for dead on the side of the road.  My father did this because he did not want to hear about Jesus from me and I could not back down from sharing the gospel with him.  Looking back I am glad this event happened because from that day forward he would abuse me no more.

Being on my own and homeless at age 14 was not easy, but the Lord was still with me and I never went hungry or without some sort of shelter.  Sometimes that meant dumpster diving and a cardboard box, but His grace was sufficient as always to get me through the most difficult times.  From age 14 til 17 I bounced around finding fellowship wherever I could with like minded followers of Jesus.  What I could not find in “church” buildings I found at dinner tables and living rooms.  However, Jesus quite clearly let me know that in my future I would be used by Him to help start and empower relationship based, Spirit led, home fellowships.

Now I am nearly 54 years old and still following and serving Jesus as best as I can.  My youth and childhood was difficult to say the least, but Jesus brought me through all the rapes and abuse and kept my feet solidly upon the Rock.  I honestly do not remember a time when Jesus was not right there with me.  I love Jesus with all that I am… and now I am blessed to be able to be in relationship with many others who understand what it is to actually be the Body of Christ.  I relate to many fellowships now that function freely as led by the Holy Spirit.   The things Jesus showed me as a child are now coming true for many people all over the world.  I cannot begin to adequately express how thankful my heart is to see the fulfillment of my childhood thoughts and dreams.  For those of you out there who have yet to find fellowship and a functioning Body of Christ.. I say pray and don’t give up.  Jesus hears and will answer your hearts desire. …And everyone out there please know this:  You are loved and accepted among the beloved.  Jesus will meet and lead you outside of the walls of traditional religion.  Do not change who you are in order to fit in with “man’s” system of doing “church”.  In the true Body of Christ you will fit in just the way you are.  You are created uniquely by Him.  Don’t give up, don’t surrender, and do not compromise what the Spirit is leading you to be.

Love and…..

Kirk Out !












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  1. My the Lord Jesus pour out His grace and peace to you dear brother. You are indeed a blessing to many, I’m sure. I’m truly sorry you went through all that as a little child, (I read your testimony), but for all of us, at the end of the day, our relationship with the Lord Jesus is what matters. So many people refuse Him and never come to that blessed place of fellowship with Him, or enter into the fellowship of His sufferings.

  2. Amen and Amen!

  3. Chris, you’ve spoken before of Jesus being with you and sensing His presence even during the rapes by your father. I was wondering if you could share some thoughts on why you believe Jesus didn’t stop those things? I ask this because I have a friend who suffered abuse from family members as a child, and she doesn’t understand why God didn’t stop it and protect her. (And so doesn’t really know if she wants to fully trust Him now). I can give her examples from my own sufferings, but I’ve never experienced this kind of abuse, and don’t have solid answers for her. I realize you might not either, and that faith is a huge part, but just wondering if you could elaborate a lil.

    • Mary, what a excellent and difficult question. I believe Jesus most of the time brings us THROUGH flood and fire or other difficult situations for HIS glory and our preparation for greater more excellent things. Jesus knows the beginning from the end and the end from the beginning. So HE knew that by going THROUGH the abuse my heart would be prepared to be able to help others who endured such abuse. So I went THROUGH those difficult things for HIS eventual glory in the lives of others. Since Jesus was always there to hold and comfort me THROUGH the abuse it allowed me to trust HIM with every area of my life and my heart and life to shaped and molded into the vessel HE desired me to be for HIS sake and the sake of others I would encounter in this life. In short going THROUGH those difficult times made me a better more empathetic person for the good of the Body of Christ. For whatever reason Jesus saw fit not to violate my earthly father’s will in my circumstances. I have struggled with that at times, but since I ultimately trust Jesus it does not negatively affect my view of The Lord.and HIS ultimate plan for my life. I hope this makes some sense to you and others Mary. I just know that going THROUGH the abuse and then the PTSD many years later has made me more graceful, loving, kind, and humble in ALL ways.

      • Yes, makes sense. It’s basically Paul saying he was glad for his sufferings for the Body’s sake. And is essentially the same answer for all kinds of suffering, even though what a child goes thru in such a situation must be beyond traumatic. Pray for my friend, please, if you would. She tentatively steps forward as the Lord calls, but then steps back every time she gets too close to having Him open up this sore sore place in her heart. She can’t relax and trust herself to Him. She has a lot of churchy stuff to wade thru too and wrong thinking about God as a result. Thanks for taking the time to answer. I know it’s a hard question.

  4. Thank you for sharing your moving story. Amazing to see how God’s love constantly exceeds our religious expectations and human limitations. I always remember this scripture when thinking of God’s special concern for all children.

    Matthew 18:10
    The Parable of the Lost Sheep
    “See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that in heaven their angels always see the face of my Father who is in heaven.”–Jesus Christ, God the Son

  5. Oh, and btw, we actually hail from Ft. Wayne, Indiana which isn’t too far from the Michigan line. God moved us west 13 -14 years ago, but we still have family back in Indiana. With my stroke, idk when we would again be traveling that far, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility that we could meet one day. If the Lord made it happen. 🙂

    • Mary, I know Fort Wayne well. It is only a little over an hour from here. We go there to shop often and used to go to a lot of concerts there at the “Adam’s Apple”. I do hope to meet you face to face someday. I love the way you share from your heart.

      • I remember the Adam’s Apple from college days, if it’s the same place we’re recalling. And nothing is impossible. 😊

  6. Yes Mary I will certainly be praying for your friend. Can you please give me her first name?

  7. My wife went through a decade of sexual abuse at the hands of family, friends, church members including the senior pastor… from age 9 to 19 when I met her.
    I am always amazed at her willingness to forgive… I found that was most difficult for me… to forgive them… She now is completely free.

    • Mike, you wife must be an amazing person. Being completely free after enduring what she did is a miracle for sure.

  8. Tom Ball permalink

    A message from the heart. Thank you, Chris.

  9. Dan permalink

    Wow! What a story of the grace of God in a life! So glad that what He showed you as a child is now coming to fruition around the world.

  10. Gary Graham permalink

    Chris, Glad Jesus has walked with you brother! Honored Abba allowed us to cross paths on this pilgrimage!

  11. Thank you for sharing Chris, I so appreciate your honesty. I didn’t realize that you were jump started with a Gideon bible. So many have! I think we all have unique, personally designed just for us sufferings. We are shielded from understanding why with the natural mind which I have come to learn is a huge benefit (you have to sort of stand everything on its head to grasp spiritual realities) because we would do all sorts of human things with it maybe start a religious “business” about the experience, write a hit song and go on tour, all sorts of things to glorify anything other than Him. In our struggle to understand, we birth something far greater as you have…….love…….and learn how to love Him and others more and more.

  12. This was encouraging and beautiful to read. Thanks for this brother. Stunning.

  13. Incredible testimony. Incredible God. Thanks fr encouraging me to trust Him more.👍✨

  14. Ramma permalink

    All very encouraging. Prayers going out for Kassiemarie and many others who have and are walking similar paths. Our God is such an awesome God in how He connects and meets each one individually right where we are. Much love to all.

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