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Dropping The F Bomb?

July 31, 2015


One Sunday evening a while back Caleb and I visited a housechurch in Virginia.  We had an excellent time with the saints there because they made us feel right at home.  They had just the right mix of humor and irreverence and they treated each other with much love and respect.

The Spirit led topic turned out to be how we treat one another in the body when we have differing opinions or just disagree.  Every member contributed to the conversation and the flow of the dialogue was perfect.  Of course there were times when we shared awkward silence, but when you are attempting to be real with Him and one another that is just a natural part of the ongoing exchange of ideas.

A key to being able to navigate difficult conversations together is the willingness to hear each other out without threat of judgement or condemnation.  If you truly desire free and totally open fellowship then you must surrender to the art of active listening.  Disagreements are fine as long as you can still bear with one another in love, even in the face of major differences.

The folks there in Virginia told us of a time when someone just dropped the F bomb in the middle of their fellowship together.  They had a disagreement over some of Paul’s letters and a member strongly opposed what another had said about Paul and the F bomb was dropped.  Not in a mean or disrespectful way, but in a WTF? kind of way.  They loved Jesus and each other enough that they continued to press on through the moment together until they found sufficient resolution.  Those involved chose not to take total offense at what was shared and that acceptance allowed them to continue the ongoing conversation until they found a place of common ground and mutual agreement.

I love my hc friends in Virginia and I was able to confirm to them that you really haven’t had relational housechurch until someone drops the F bomb or blood has been drawn.  Because if you are not getting close or intimate enough for these wild things to happen, you haven’t gone deep enough in each others lives to really call it church.  If you really want to be real and authentic then you will go to any length to know and love each other deeper than what the average traditional church allows.  Traditional church avoids depth of relationship with HIM and one another like the plague, while relational church embraces it.  Give me real and slightly vulgar on any day over fake and pristine.  I need fellowship with real people with warts, blemishes and all.  I desire reality, true fellowship, and not fake behavior all the time.

Love and…

Kirk Out !

P.s.  All the stuff in my old apartment has now been moved into our new townhouse.  However, sorting and unpacking may take quite a while.  I definitely pulled something in my stomach/side during the move.  The new place looks great and is liveable, except for the massive pile of stuff in the dining room.  As they say, “slow and steady wins the race”.  Thanks to everyone who prayed for us during the big move.


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  1. Jewell permalink

    “Give me real and slightly vulgar on any day over fake and pristine. I need fellowship with real people with warts, blemishes and all. I desire reality, true fellowship, and not fake behavior all the time.” This pretty much sums up why I left the “average traditional church” behind. Thanks for your posts. Amen and amen!

  2. currey permalink

    I loved what you had to say about listening being required if you want a strong church group. Also dropping the F-bomb was just perfect. If you can’t overcome that then you don’t have a solid group. I don’t drop the f-bomb myself but it’s not the end of the world if someone else does, especially today when many of the youth can barely speak english.

    God bless you

  3. Ramma permalink

    I understand what you are saying here, but I still loose a degree of respect when it’s used. I guess I hear so much of it in the world and when I’m opening up my heart to receive from the Lord, that stuff just shuts my heart door. A mistake is one thing, freely using it is another. 100% agree that we have to go deeper in our relationship fellowship. And, yes. I will still fellowship you if it falls out of your mouth. However, one cannot speak God and this at the same time? It isn’t recorded of Him ever using it. I’m guilty of using it and I’m being set free from it. Like Sharon said, many of our youth are inbred with it. So, it will happen.

  4. "BK" Zimmer permalink

    I have to say I see it both ways….although some may feel that is not possible. I’ve been among those from the streets and the drug/alcohol world alot over the years and know that it is inevetible you are going to hear strong language. Drawing lines in the sand definitely is not the way of love. I do believe that as we walk in the Lord those things get less and less. I’ve been around those also who feel it is just ‘freedom’ to be able to ‘express’ with vulgarity….and the fruit of it has not proved to be any I would desire to eat (and I honestly don’t say that smugly). I believe that is what Paul meant in I Corinthians 5 when he said about the young man with his step-mother… “Are you puffed up and have not rather mourned?” I can hear them rejoicing at the level of ‘mercy and acceptance’ they had by ‘not judging’ him. Yet with Paul’s instruction the young man appears to have been able to be freed and accepted according to his second letter. We had a brother in his 50’s who met the Lord after having spent most of his life on the streets using and dealing drugs. He came to live with us after meeting Jesus.His language and sexual inuendos were uncomfortable to me and I told him so. I was told I was religious and self-righteous…this was just ‘how he expressed himself.’ The next fellowship he had a sister kept wanting some specific verses read, but as can sometimes happen the conversation kept veering other places. Finally this precious brother told her, “I’ll read those for you!” As he read it was Eph 5 where Paul is saying “Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks.” His jaw dropped as he read it and I have to say it did more for him in the spontanaety of the moment than anything I had said. Again, I see Chris’ point too, which isn’t a license for foul language but the getting past it when it does happen….at least I think that is the point! 🙂 “BK”

  5. Yes, BK that is a main point. However, there are some situations and times where the F bomb is the only word to faithfully communicate in certain circumstances and trying times.

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