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Forgive And Gain Peace

July 10, 2014


“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

“…and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.”  Matthew 6: 12

Forgiveness is a HUGE topic and what we believe and practice concerning forgiveness pretty much impacts our lives every single day.  As in all things how we approach forgiveness can either be a major positive force in our lives or a serious negative millstone around our very own necks.  I have found the best way to approach forgiveness is direct and head on.  For if we do not give our full attention to it…. unforgiveness can blindside us like a runaway freight train and leave us in ruins.

This was my very first fall, winter and spring without a serious PTSD episode in 15 years, and I haven’t had a significant flashback in over ten months now.  Many factors contributed to my overall positive mental health this fall including prayer, counseling, medication, an awesome positive relationship, and depth of fellowship with Christ and His Body.  However, perhaps the greatest single factor has been my ability to finally let go of the pain, shame and hate that I have held against my father for his horrific rapes and abuse he inflicted upon me as a child.  In short, I just forgave him.  

Many times in the last 15 years I thought I had forgiven him, but each time I still held on to minuscule amounts of inner rage and hatred.  Letting all that go has lifted a very heavy burden from my life and right now I feel more open and free than I ever have in life.  Now when judgement against my father rises within my inner being I choose to forgive again at that very moment and the negative feelings are totally released into the care of God.  Because of forgiveness I am now free and the Peace of Christ floods my mind and Spirit and cleanses away all the negative thoughts and feelings related to the abuse.  Oh I still have memories, but the memories are now submitted to Christ and no longer hold any power against me.

I seriously questioned the Lord and myself as to why I had not forgiven my father any sooner, and the answer was that I was neither ready or able until recently.  These things take time and should not be rushed.  In the end it was not at all about my father deserving forgiveness, but rather about me deserving peace.  Plus I finally understood that I am affected by the measure that I forgive others.  Holding back forgiveness for ANY reason, just holds us back.  It does not affect those who sinned against us at all.  If I truly forgive as Christ forgave me…it changes my whole universe for the better.  Like I said, forgiveness is a HUGE topic and I have only scratched the mere surface of it here today.  Give grace, give mercy, give love, give forgiveness, and it changes your whole world.  I know my world has been rocked by it for the better.  Today I choose to forgive and because of that I am at peace, joyful and well.

Love and…..

Kirk Out !






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  1. That is awesome Kirk, forgiving to get peace. Me I forgive because I am forgiven for me a response to God going to the cross for me and all the people in the world, I see this love of God by the risen Christ in Spirit and truth, putting no confidence in me the self to get anything by what I do or not do, to forgive anyone or not.
    Rather I see God’s unfathomable love at the cross and the new life after the death in Spirit and truth of Father through Son. By this I see I never could have loved like the love of God that pours out from seeing God’s love first to all no matter who they are, what they do or not do, the power of God is all I want is for God to be in control
    1 John 4:19
    We love because he first loved us.

    So I see without first seeing his love and the deeper I see it the deeper I love back to God for it
    The same with forgiving, the deeper I see I and all are forgiven, the deeper I forgive, and that is not normal
    scratching the surface myself, and it is deep!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Then discerning from God our teacher, Hebrews 8:11, we become wise as serpents, and stay harmless as dove, knowing there is a time for everything, When to and not to, just waiting on the call to go and do.
    Kind of like a water glass waits in the cabinet for its master to come and use it when Master is ready to do so
    We are God’s water glass, is what I see, available to be used by our Master our Lord, Christ and Christ’s Lord our Father by Christ
    Anyway, awesome Kirk

  2. Dyesebel Barbecho permalink

    Its all true letting go the hatred,forgiving those have sins against us…it feels good to give and forgive…
    It was a wonderful message mr kirk….
    Ive been in a life that full of hatred when my husband abandoned us,and lived in with other woman and have a child…but i realizes i need to be strong for my three kids….i let go my hatred,forgive what he had done to me and to his kids and now i have a peaceful life…keep it up mr.kirk…god bless you!!!!

  3. Judy baker permalink
    Loved hearing you are better with PTSD have truly forgiven and are at peace also with a new relationship. We are never to old to have a good life and continue helping people with genuine interest and concern. I remember you as a young child 2 yrs of age then as an adult. I think of your mom often as I do my own mother and best friends. I do not know anyone who had a perfect life but some of us had child sexual abuse which followed us forever. Thank you for this article. I also suffer from PTSD and it’s time I address it. The Lord has shown me his love and compassion saying he would never leave me or forsake me years ago. His love is awesome. Trust in Him completely is the key. He will never desert us. I have found security with Him. Sincerely Judy Baker

  4. There’s a great little book on Forgiveness by Plough Publishing. “Why Forgive? Stories of Forgiveness,” Johann Christoph Arnold. I believe it is a free e-book. Keep a box of Kleenex next to you when you read it!

  5. nancy permalink

    Just wanted to add my ‘amen’ to your post Chris….ahh the wisdom of our God!

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