Fifty Two Years And Counting
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade – kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith – of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1: 3-7
Today is my 52nd birthday and I am not totally sure how I feel about it. I guess I have mixed feelings, but most of them are good and extremely positive. With all that happened in my childhood I feel fortunate to have lived to this ripe old age. I have faced death a number of times, once even before I was born, when my father kicked my mother in the stomach when she was just over 6 months pregnant with me. This resulted in my premature, dry breach, birth that had many complications and nearly killed both me and my mother. As it turned out, my father trying to kill me would be a reoccurring theme in my life. However, as always, Jesus was watching out over me protecting, teaching and loving me even way back then.
Am I where I dreamed I would be at this age? Again I am not sure, because I never really thought I would live this long in the first place. Looking back though I guess that overall I have done alright. My failed marriage of 30 years is really the only non-positive outcome in my life as of right now, and our break up was certainly not entirely my fault. However, since our separation and eventual divorce we have both grown and flourished in ways we probably couldn’t have if we had stayed together. I am even tempted to say we are both better off now because of splitting up. Then there is the PTSD, but the PTSD is finally manageable after 15 years of living hell. I have not had a crippling flashback in over eight months. Praise Jesus! On the plus side all four of my children are well and serving Jesus in various positive ways. My relationships with my children are most excellent. My friendships are as good as they ever have been with much life and quality and the home fellowships I am involved in helping are really flourishing and growing in all the good ways. I am now also in a very meaningful relationship, with a wonderful woman of faith, that holds much promise for both of us. That and I still have a small private addictions counseling practice called “Creative Conversations” that keeps me as busy as I want to be. Most importantly my relationship with Jesus is perhaps the best it has ever been. I walk with Him and He does indeed bless me in all these areas of my life. So yeah I am 52, but I really can’t complain. Plus I still have good hair and good teeth!
Sure 52 years is a major milestone, but the most important thing in this life is the NEW BIRTH that He freely grants us all, if we only turn to Him. This new birth is about having a LIVING hope through the resurrection of Jesus, and because of this He grants us an inheritance that will never be taken from us. Sure obstacles and trials will come our way, but these only serve to prove our faith. I know I have been tried and tested, but in the end HE is always with me and He equips me to get through every and any trial that satan, this world or even myself places in front of me. We can be our own worst enemies at times can’t we? I know my faith is genuine because of all the shit He has brought me through. I surrender to Jesus all the praise, glory and honor. Jesus was with me loving, protecting and teaching me when I was a child and now that I am 52 He does exactly the same, but even at a greater depth due to my ability to reason with Him as an adult. I may be 52, but I will also ALWAYS be His child. So I cry ABBA Father and He is with me today on my birthday and forevermore.
Love and …..
Kirk Out !