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35 Years

April 3, 2014

Greetings,

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery.  Instead be filled with the Spirit.”  Ephesians 5: 18

Today I celebrated 35 years clean and sober from drugs and alcohol.  My real clean date is April 1 1979, but I couldn’t get my Narcotics Anonymous (NA) coin and cake until tonight.  Many of my NA friends and family were there to share the moment with me.  Their encouragement has been a major source of strength for me over the years and especially this past several years..

Yes, April Fool’s day 1979 was the last time I was that kind of fool who used drugs and alcohol to great excess.  Fool that I was, my best friend at the time and I went to the county fairgrounds so that I could launch my fire engine red 1979 Pontiac Trans Am off of the earthen cattle loading ramp.  We figured that if The Dukes of Hazzard could do it on TV, we could do it in real life too.  BIG MISTAKE!  Oh we made the jump just fine, it was the front heavy crash landing that did us in.  When I woke up I was bruised, battered and bloody, but my friend got the worst of it.  His head went through the windshield and there was blood everywhere.  When I next woke up I was in jail, but my friend was in a coma for 6 days and almost died.  That was my rock bottom, and thanks to Jesus and NA it was also the very last time that I used drugs and alcohol.

I started using alcohol when I was just 11 years old.  We were at my great aunt’s place for Thanksgiving and for whatever reason the adults saw fit to give me a big water glassful of Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill wine.  I did not know any better so I just chugged it and practically passed out in my mashed potatoes.  I liked the numb feeling it gave me though, so I continued to get as much alcohol as I could.  It wasn’t hard because my father was an alcoholic.  Soon afterwards I started taking my parents vicodin and other pain killers whenever I could.  It didn’t take long to find people who would sell them at school either.  Mixing opiates and alcohol could have killed me, but back then I didn’t care.

Like I said, I used the dope to just get numb.  Feeling nothing was the only feeling I could stand.  My father started abusing me sexually, physically, emotionally and verbally when I was about 4 years old and it didn’t stop until I was 12.  Even though the sexual abuse ended then I still had these totally awful memories.  So I got drunk and high as often as humanly possible in order to avoid everything going on inside my head. 

Jesus walked with me through my horrific childhood.  I can remember Him holding me close during the times of abuse. However, I did not know or fully understand who He was until 1976 when I went forward at a Larry Norman concert in Columbus Ohio.  When I was finally exposed to the Bible, it fully confirmed all of the things Jesus had been sharing with me since I was 4.  Things about true fellowship, love and the church.  Things I try to live out even till this day.

Well, that’s my story.  A big chunk of it anyway.  Thank you Jesus, thank you relational housechurch, and thank you Narcotic’s Anonymous for all you have done for me.  Let me just close with this:  The fellowship of Narcotic’s Anonymous has taught me more about love and actually BEING the church than the Traditional/Institutional church EVER has.  NA has wide open, free flowing, sharing from the heart all the time. ” Our leaders are but trusted servants, they do NOT govern.”  What I find at the tables of NA is total, brutal, gut level honesty about where we are and where we want to be.  We simply love one another and carry each other until we can all walk again.  It is a Spiritual, NOT religious program.  It is real and never fake.  My life really began at step 3…..”We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”  In Jesus I have come to understand God.  Not my will, but HIS be done!

Love and ……

Kirk Out !

 

 

 

 

 

 

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9 Comments
  1. Skylla Moon permalink

    This confirms … that born of flesh is flesh. And that which is born of spirit is spirit regardless of the title the label the settings forget all that if its life its life. I’m sure God is at work everywhere he is. Ha lol kind of a no brainer thank you Jesus for Chris’s death and rebirth in you.

  2. That’s a very awesome testament. I wish I could show/tell my dad how bad I feel every time he drinks. He grow up basically fatherless… he start drinking when he was also just a kid. Until now that he is 54 years old. He scares me when he is drunk because he isn’t seem like my dad. I wrote him a letter just a few days ago, Im sending it to him in the Philippines. Its about him coming home to Jesus because I know the way his life was.. he doesn’t have a lot of time left in this world. Its the least I can do for him. I am hoping he will be change before its too long. Thanks for sharing your story. Best regards and GOD bless!!!

  3. Glad you have come to FAITH, that has brought you new life, the gift of Father to you and all that decide to believe God through Son it is done so:
    F orwarding
    A ll
    I ssues
    T o
    H eaven

    And it is God alone that knows where we each need growth and always is available to show us one way or another, where as the song old one ” I am going to get you, one way or the other” That is how deep God’s Mercy with Love is
    Keep going forward no matter what Christ, You are being built by God to be like the mighty oak tree that once was a small nut that stood it’s ground in Faith
    Love to you Brother

  4. Oh and we do have similar surroundings left alcohol and drugs 30 years ago as well. Began when I was 12

  5. Amen brother! Thank you for sharing this and congratulations on 35 years clean and sober!

  6. Great testimony of God’s unfailing love, Kirk. I didn’t get into alcohol and drugs, but I used other things to numb the pain, so I can relate to your life. Happy 35th anniversary of a very important turning point in your life, my friend! ❤

  7. Thank you for sharing such an uplifting testimony, brother! Glad you’re still around, and serving in the strength of our Lord.

  8. vinny0 permalink

    Flat out AWESOME ! Most people don’t realize 95% of addicts will not recover 😦 each one is a miracle ! 😀

  9. Ramma permalink

    Wonderful testimony! Praise The Lord for His faithful deliverance! Keep pressing on!

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