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Forgive And Gain Peace

December 4, 2013


“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”

“…and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.”  Matthew 6: 12

Forgiveness is a HUGE topic and what we believe and practice concerning forgiveness pretty much impacts our lives every single day.  As in all things how we approach forgiveness can either be a major positive force in our lives or a serious negative millstone around our very own necks.  I have found the best way to approach forgiveness is direct and head on.  For if we do not give our full attention to can blindside us like a runaway freight train and leave in ruins.

This was my very first October/November without a serious PTSD episode in 14 years, and I haven’t had a significant flashback in over 4 months now.  Many factors contributed to my overall positive mental health this fall including prayer, counseling, medication, a positive relationship, and depth of fellowship with Christ and His Body.  However, perhaps the greatest single factor has been my ability to finally let go of the pain, shame and hate that I have held against my father for his horrific rapes and abuse he inflicted upon me as a child.  In short, I just forgave him.  

Many times in the last 14 years I thought I had forgiven him, but each time I still held on to minuscule amounts of inner rage and hatred.  Letting all that go has lifted a very heavy burden from my life and right now I feel more open and free than I ever have in life.  Now when judgement against my father rises within my inner being I choose to forgive again at that very moment and the negative feelings are totally released into the care of God.  Because of forgiveness I am now free and the Peace of Christ floods my mind and Spirit and cleanses away all the negative thoughts and feelings related to the abuse.  Oh I still have memories, but the memories are now submitted to Christ and no longer hold any power against me.

I seriously questioned the Lord and myself as to why I had not forgiven my father any sooner, and the answer was that I was neither ready or able until recently.  These things take time and should not be rushed.  In the end it was not at all about my father deserving forgiveness, but rather about me deserving peace.  Plus I finally understood that I am affected by the measure that I forgive others.  Holding back forgiveness for ANY reason, just holds us back.  It does not affect those who sinned against us at all.  If I truly forgive as Christ forgave me…it changes my whole universe for the better.  Like I said, forgiveness is a HUGE topic and I have only scratched the mere surface of it here today.  Give grace, give mercy, give love, give forgiveness, and it changes your whole world.  I know my world has been rocked by it for the better.  Today I choose to forgive and because of that I am at peace, joyful and well.

Love and…..

Kirk Out !









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  1. Skylla Moon permalink

    Yez! Oui! Si! Uh huh! Yuppers!!!!!

  2. Yes, definitely, forgiving being able to from God through Christ, is major and very freeing, God has revealed this to you awesome. Thanks for your posts

  3. Christopher, i, too have received healing from my past thru Jesus. How i recognize that i have been truly healed is that i can no longer re-live those memories. Also when i have re-counted those memories (to help someone else) i feel somewhat detached & disconnected from them, almost like im telling a story about someone else….i remember the words i used to use to describe the atrocity, but i can no longer take part in that. This was the moment that the words ‘when Jesus sets you free, you are truly free’ came to life for me. It was there for me all along, i just needed to walk in it; to receive it. Im celebrating this newfound freedom with you, my friend!

  4. Thank you Shelby. I feel detached from the memories too. Like I am narrating someone else’s story from a safe distance. Jesus is completing an awesome work in me. I feel great!

  5. This gives more meaning to “Those things that you bind on earth are also bound in heaven (YOUR heavenly walk in Christ)…” I am so happy for you, my brother. Stay free IN Christ!

  6. bill permalink

    in a simple word, it means to LET GO. They didn’t know what they were doing(even thought it appears that they were), They were blind, totally blind. LET THEM GO!!!

  7. Pam Smith permalink

    This is good stuff Chris. It’s true, until you are able to truly totally forgive, that person who hurt you, or maybe even “broke you”, has control over you. I believe as long as we continue to let those who have hurt us “control” us we can’t totally surrender and be controlled by the Lord. There is always a fraction being controlled by something else. Thanks for sharing Chris.
    I also know that sometimes for me, I know I have forgiven someone then I am hit with a memory and that memory seems to try to cut into that scar left, but when I make the choice to pray for that person when that happens, it helps me keep it in perspective and to walk in that forgiveness. It’s hard to carry a grudge or carry ill feelings for someone you commit yourself to pray for.

  8. "BK" permalink

    Chris, a beautiful writing on forgiveness. I loved the opening quote. Years ago, when we had the Youth Outreach that was one of the things I stressed….forgiveness sets YOU free; and frees the offender for God to deal with him with us out of the way. And, forgiveness doesn’t mean ‘it’s ok what you did and you’re free to continue the abuse… means just what you have described above. Love, “BK”

  9. Judy baker permalink

    Loved hearing you are better with PTSD have truly forgiven and are at peace also with a new relationship. We are never to old to have a good life and continue helping people with genuine interest and concern. I remember you as a young child 2 yrs of age then as an adult. I think of your mom often as I do my own mother and best friends. I do not know anyone who had a perfect life but some of us had child sexual abuse which followed us forever. Thank you for this article. I also suffer from PTSD and it’s time I address it. The Lord has shown me his love and compassion saying he would never leave me or forsake me years ago. His love is awesome. Trust in Him completely is the key. He will never desert us. I have found security with Him. Sincerely Judy Baker

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