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Sorrow No More?

July 10, 2013

Greetings,

“They will come and shout for joy on the heights of Zion; they will rejoice in the bounty of the Lord – the grain, the new wine and the oil, the young of the flocks and herds.  They will be like a well-watered garden, and they will sorrow no more.  Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well.  I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.  I will satisfy the priests with abundance, and my people will be filled with my bounty.  Declares the Lord.  Jeremiah 31: 12-14

Yesterday I was overcome with feelings of profound loss and sorrow.  I found myself mourning the loss of my first earthly love.  Our divorce was final nearly one and a half years ago and we have been separated now for two years and four months, but I am still at times overwhelmed by the loss of my 30 year marriage.

I loved my wife so very, very much and in many ways I still do.  Letting completely go of that relationship I am finding extremely difficult.  Just when I think I have moved past the sorrow of this great loss…WHAM…I am hit with yet another wave of massive grief.  I have been told by many that letting go of one you have loved for that many years takes a good long while, and I am finding that to be true in my case.

Sometimes I am overcome with feelings of rejection, like I have been discarded like a common piece of trash.  However, yesterday in the midst of experiencing these negative feelings the Lord sent to me a wonderful sister.  We were talking online and she said this, “She may reject you, but she’s only one person. There are many people that love you and think you are a great guy.”  The truth of what she spoke flooded my soul with a great sense of acceptance and peace.  It was a perfect word given at the perfect time for me to be able to hear and receive it.

As I look at my life over the past two years I do see tremendous growth and healing.  And by all accounts both my ex-wife and I are healthier Spiritually, emotionally and physically than we were in our last several years of marriage.  We were both dealing with serious depression and other mental health issues; and because of this I guess we both just ran out of gas and grace at the same time. If pressed I just have to admit we are both more whole, complete, mature and happy that we were in the marriage.  Still, divorce sucks, no matter the reasons.

I look forward to the day when we all “will sorrow no more.”  Prior to 2012 I was very depressed on a daily basis.  Nowadays I still have my moments, but overall Jesus has brought me great healing in all aspects of my life including PTSD.  Most days now I have a sense of gladness rather than mourning.  WOW!  This whole GOD thing really does work when you fully surrender to HIS will.  Hell, even on days I don’t fully surrender HE still grants me much grace and peace, in spite of myself.  Two years ago I had given up on life, but here I am today singing His praises.  In all honesty I have made more true and sincere friends in the past two years than I ever have.  Bottom line is that no matter how you look at it…I am truly blessed.  Sure I have my slight and momentary afflictions, but they are working within me a great eternal glory.  It may look bleak tonight, but always remember…JOY comes in the morning!

Love and……

Kirk Out !

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 Comments
  1. Jeanne S. permalink

    Beautiful testimony Chris!

  2. The night does not last forever, and as we walk though the valley of the shadow of death we do realize..”You are with me” and “You comfort me”. Praying for more and more of the “joy comes in the morning” stuff for you today, with ever increasing frequency…love you brother Chris.

  3. "BK" permalink

    I look at it this way…..it SHOULD hurt….otherwise you didn’t have anything. You two had ALOT, and that loss is painful. I like that you quoted from Jeremiah because people call him the weeping prophet….use him for their excuse to ‘prophesy’ doom & gloom. They quote Jer 1:[10] “See, I have this day set thee over the nations and over the kingdoms, to root out, and to pull down, and to destroy, and to throw down, to build, and to plant.”….forgetting to go all the way to the FINISH i.e. “TO BUILD AND TO PLANT”. The verse you chose to quote is all about the building and planting and joy in the morning. Loved it, “BK”

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