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Getting Personal

April 17, 2013

What follows is an updated version of “About Captain Kirk” as found on my blog site.  When I looked at the stats they showed that very few people ever check out that part of my blog.  Over the past several weeks many new people have found this blog and my number of views daily has increased dramatically.  Recently someone judged me harshly without really knowing anything about me or my life at all.  I truly believe that one can only speak into another’s life to the extent that they have a relationship with that person.  Anything else is just a drive-by shooting. That is the reason that disciple making from a pulpit never works.  I am sharing this in hopes that we could all open up a little and get to really know each other a bit better.  Relationship with Jesus and one another is what it is all about anyway.  If you choose to comment, which I hope most do, please share a line or two about yourself?  The net can be a cold, distant and anti-relational place, but I hope we can do this together and warm things up some?



I am just another long haired Jesus freak attempting to follow The Lord as best as I can from day to day.  Jovial, yet serious would be the way that my friends describe me.  I am six feet tall and wide and I hope that my heart is as large as my frame. I currently live in Sturgis Michigan, just 3 miles North of the Indiana state line.

Warning!  I was born and raised and born again outside of the realm of Traditional/Institutional religion.  So I have a totally different slant and approach where it comes to all things “Church” and Faith.  Been  in relational fellowships that many call “housechurch” since 1976.  In the past 27 years I have also helped many relational fellowships start from scratch.  Most of which have lasted for more than 3 years.  It is amazing how well The Holy Spirit can lead churches when we “mere men” stay out of His way.  The best description that I can muster concerning the true Church would be to say that they are “an ongoing conversation with everyone participating when they gather.”  They are based on dialogue and NOT Sermons or monologue. It is all about relationship and shared life with Jesus and one another. We practice totally free & open, Spirit led fellowship.

My childhood was horrific.  I was sexually, physically and emotionally abused by my father from ages 5-11.  When I was just 13 he hit me in the head with a shovel and left me for dead by the side of the road.  The ONLY thing that kept me alive through all that was JESUS.  Jesus was there and HE comforted and held me and spoke to me, long before I ever encountered ANY type of church. Jesus spoke with me for 7 years before I ever read a bible. I looked for years to find the church that Jesus described to me, but it could simply not be found.  So we just had to try and BE one ourselves.

Because of the abuse I endured as a child, I have been plagued with PTSD and major depression for the past 14 years.  I have tried a plethora of things to be free of the horrible flashbacks related to the abuse, including prayer, deliverance, psychiatric medications, inpatient hospitalizations  and various therapies.  Nothing helped much until a friend of mine, originally from Australia, suggested EMDR.  In the past 2 years EMDR has helped create new neuropathways so that I can process old information like the flashbacks.  This has greatly reduced the frequency and duration of my PTSD episodes and as of today I have had zero flashbacks in the last 2 months.  The result of having endured the original abuse and reliving it in flashbacks is that I have very deep empathy for other people struggling with all sorts of problems. If not for God’s grace we are all just a few seconds away from being in some extremely difficult situations that we could never imagine happening to us.

A counselor by trade, with addictions as a specialty (been clean for 34 years) I have never taken ANY salary from churches for anything.  I even travel at my own cost.  Very rarely have I ever even accepted love gifts to help pay for my travel expenses.

My passions are Jesus, my family, The Church and the needs of others.  I started this blog after much prayer and counsel from my friends.  Through it I hope to help others find Jesus and true fellowship in their lives

Love and…..

Kirk Out !

“Most would rather endure comfortable bondage, than experience uneasy freedom.”


From → Uncategorized

  1. David permalink

    Hi, I’m David. I live in New Zealand. I have to admit that I came across your blog by stumbling upon the last few blog posts. I love where you are coming from brother! Psalm 23:1

  2. CatherineS permalink

    Thank you for sharing yourself with us like that. I did check out your info after finding your blog (I’m one of those who DO read that stuff 🙂 ), and appreciate your honesty and the trust you show your readers by being so open about those vulnerable areas. I do feel I know you better. I had to look up EMDR, since I’d never heard of it before and am glad you’ve found something that helps. Of course EMDR is much more complex, but it sounds somewhat similar to something I’m more familiar with: Counter conditioning and behavior adjustment therapy (BAT) used to help canines that experience high levels of fear and anxiety, often stemming from abuse and/or fear-causing encounters. God bless you, brother. I will be praying that the Lord will accomplish great healing in your life.

  3. Alright, a couple of people got us off to a great start. Getting tons of views today, but few comments. Please share a bit about yourself here? Thanks!

  4. Pam Smith permalink

    Thanks for the “updated” version. I have read that in the past, and knew most of it because we have walked a bit of this with you. It’s amazing how the Lord works and brings people into our lives to build us up, to sharpen us and to perfect himself in us. And I can say it’s been a blessing to sometimes be the one to be iron to your iron, and sometimes be that polishing cloth. God is good.
    I came from a traditional church background and have been involved in relational situations for the past nearly 30 years, but at this point we are called and placed back in a A/G body. I never cease to be amazed at how God uses his people who are willing to walk humbly before him. I wish I could say why both my husband and I feel so called to this body but I can’t, that hasn’t been revealed but I do know that God will use all sorts of situations, people, places, and circumstances to perfect his bride, and I find it very exciting to see what relationships He is leading us into because that is what I feel he is truly interested in. He is actively interested in my relationship with him, Him with me, also with His body of believers with each other and with the world and how we present Him to the world.
    It’s been quite the ride over the past 27 years with you and your family, but definitely one I would not have wanted to miss.

  5. 400 views yesterday and only several comments? Come on folks we can do better than that. Please share a line about yourself, where you are from or why you are here would be great?

  6. "BK" permalink

    No time to post from work right now but I wanted to say I so relate Johanna. Religion fragmented me, but I also know HE puts the puzzle pieces together and I love the verse, “In Him we are complete.” Thank you for having the courage to post. “BK”

  7. Catherine S. permalink

    I considered sharing more about myself, but it takes a certain level of both courage and trust to share at the level you have, Cap’n. Because of recent social media experience, I just can’t bring myself to trust people (i.e. your readers) I don’t know to some degree, and then there are those I do know and have learned I can’t trust — both of which have made me hesitant to bare myself publicly like you did. Suffice it to say that I can relate to what both Johanna and BK have shared: Religion was used to abuse me and destroy much in my life. But, praise be to God, HE used it all to strip me down to just Him and to start building on Him who is my Rock! What men meant for evil, He used for good.

  8. "BK" permalink

    I often tell people who are still smarting over things people said or did to them as they left the church system to not be sad….THANK THEM…..because otherwise they (and we) would still be there giving our lives to what God is on record He hates (the system, not the people captive in it).
    🙂 “BK”

  9. David, glad to have you join us here. I have always wanted to go to NZ.

  10. "BK" permalink

    Ok, I should take the time to introduce myself here a bit while I have some uninterrupted time!
    I am “BK”, happily married to Ken, living in Washington State. I have loved the Lord for as far back as my memory goes (notice I didn’t say I lived perfectly, I loved Him :)) I was not raised in a church going or religious family at all. Not even sure how I got my awareness of God. In 3rd grade I was sitting on a dirty garage floor reading my little new testament they gave us at school and when I got to the end of Matthew, I cried and cried at His crucifixion, asking Him ‘into my heart’ and rejoiced at His resurrection. Had my beginnings in grade school in the Presbyterian church. At 11 I heard about speaking in tongues and when my pastor couldn’t answer my questions I decided I better go where they could. Attended the Assemblies of God until age 14 where I got so discouraged I decided I must not be meant to serve God and left. Met my first husband at that time (married him at 16) and his family took me to their church (he lived in the taverns, I lived in church). The pastor made the comment that Elijah didn’t go to heaven in a fiery chariot. I raised my hand and objected. We went back and forth awhile and he told me to read it when I went home. I sat shocked to read that chariots and horses of fire appeared, but he actually went up in a whirlwind. I wondered at age 14 “what else have they lied to me about?” That opened me. Spent about 14 years in this little group until the Lord planted His hands firmly on my shoulders, heels leaving deep ruts in the ground, digging in as He ‘pushed me’ out of the group I was in. I became an associate pastor, then a pastor (in the conventional form). I believed in the interaction of the body of Christ but had never even heard of the Nicolaitans (clergy over laity) at that time. That was in the 80’s and 90’s. What a journey as my eyes opened more and more to verse after verse of what they really said as opposed to what I had been taught, and what I read into them. Married 28 years to first husband before divorce shattered my concepts even further. Met & married Ken and still thank the Lord almost daily for a husband who shares my passion for Christ & His body, my insights, my life (just had our 16th anniversary yesterday). In 1997 we sold our house and gave away everything we owned that would not fit in a Chevy AstroVan. We lived the next 13 or so years traveling the country (including Alaska, Africa, Australia and Canada) as we felt the Lord led. We worked temporary jobs to support ourselves and contribute to others in need. Our burden was to let people know there is life after Babylon. The things I have learned have come primarily by revelation and fellowship. I was amazed when I met Chris K and found out there were actually other people like us! We felt like beings from another planet! Three years ago we settled to work and pay off an big ol’ house we bought in a ghost town in Washington. It is paid for now and we continue to finish fixing it up so there will be room for any of God’s people who need a place to rest, fellowship and hang out. In one more year we will retire and move there permanently….and be back on the road to face to face with as many of God’s people as we can. I would still rather sleep in a tent than a house 🙂 So, that’s the short version, and it’s already long. Great to be here, “BK”

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