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A Man Of Sorrows

March 5, 2013


“Love must be sincere.  Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.  Be devoted to one another in brotherly love.  Honor one another above yourselves.  Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.  Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”  Romans 12: 9-12

To be totally honest I am really struggling with sorrow and depression today.  I am not having many flashbacks, but it is still related to my PTSD.  I have the joy of the Lord deep in my heart and my hope in Him springs eternal.  On top of that I have been totally faithful in prayer, but somehow I still struggle.  I guess it is just my turn again to be patient in affliction.

Sometimes I wonder if my struggles will ever end on this side of life.  I have been faithful for nearly 14 years in facing this affliction.  Today is just an especially difficult day for me.  Recently I have been praying much for my siblings in Christ who are still trapped in the traditional/religious system.  I hold great sorrow in my heart for them and I know that is affecting my overall mental health.  Today I shed many tears for others and for myself.  When I drop my pride and allow those healing waters to flow it always helps my state of being.

I guess I have allowed too much sorrow to build up within my heart and mind.  Recently burying two close, near my age, friends and losing a 24 year old friend to suicide is a lot to process.  However, after doing everything I can do to stand…. I still find myself standing in spite of my affliction and sorrows.  Christ in me is strong, even though I am weak.  My own strength is failing, but I can feel the Spirit lifting me up and giving me the encouragement to carry on.  Zeal for my Father’s House consumes me; and that true House is the real Body of Christ.

Right now I want to thank Jesus for all His love and support.  Without Him I can truly do nothing.  Thanks also to all my dear friends and close siblings in Christ.  Without their love, support and prayers I am less than dirt.  To everyone else out there who is reading this blog….. I appreciate your prayers.  Thanks for reading my musings and considering their validity. Thanks also for your comments and notes of encouragement.  Please remember Jesus is everything and I am nothing.  Be blessed in Him!

Love and…..

Kirk Out !



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  1. Reformed by the Spirit permalink

    Isa 53:1-12 Who hath believed our report? and to whom hath the arm of the LORD been revealed?

    For he grew up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He was despised, and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and as one from whom men hide their face he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

    But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, yet he humbled himself and opened not his mouth; as a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and as a sheep that before her shearers is dumb; yea, he opened not his mouth.

    By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who among them considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living? for the transgression of my people was he stricken. And they made his grave with the wicked, and with the rich in his death; although he had done no violence, neither was any deceit in his month.

    Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many: and he shall bear their iniquities.

    Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he poured out his soul unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors: yet he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

  2. Mickey Merrie permalink

    Brothers, you words/His Words are particularly encouraging today! These are exciting times we are privileged to be living in! An old shepherd friend just made it to Glory this week. His last words to me were “keep the faith, Keep The Faith, KEEP THE FAITH!!! But I knew he understood that the Faith keeps us! He is known as “brother J” for that is how He ministered to his unique fellowship. Unique in the fact that they met in a church building, yet he always taught the fellowship of the saints. It’s too bad that the majority of the folks who came over the years could never seperate the Truth from the false religious system. Many left for “safer and nicer” organizations.
    27 years I knew him, and never did I see him creating a Babylonian Mystery Pyramid organization. But even his elders and pillars never seemed to be able to handle the difference! I have hope for the young man who is taking his place and will be doing his funeral. Please pray for young Jodie.
    Here is the obituary. See how they describe “Brother J?” Yet few could see the message…By the way, I never saw him without a smile on his face or an edifying word on his tongue. This picture, chosen by his family, conveys a picture of his life I never saw. I know this too, that they never saw him as the Spirit lead free from chains saint I knew. Those chains still bind many of them, including his own.

  3. Mickey Merrie permalink

    Including his own family.

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