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Beyond The Veil

November 29, 2012


“Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved.”  Acts 4: 12

Ryan’s memorial service was bittersweet, but I do not think it could have possibly went any better than it did.  In the beginning the room was filled with sorrow and grief, but in the end many found God’s comfort and grace.  The funeral home was full to capacity of mourners and tears flowed freely, but for many tears of sorrow became tears of joy and expectation as they accepted the simple message being shared.

From the very beginning I let everyone know I was not giving a sermon and that the service was free and open for anyone to share.  Not many spoke up, but those who did shared things that fit in perfectly with what I was attempting to convey.  It was a simple message of grace, acceptance, love and forgiveness.  I openly shared my struggles with suicidal thoughts and reminded everyone that all of us are only seconds away from making choices that could lead to the end of our very own lives.

Most of all I shared about my friendship with Ryan and how he found Jesus in my office one day 11 years ago.  Ryan would call me several times or more a year and ask me for prayer and counsel concerning what was going on in his life.  We prayed together often and we were both mutually blessed by our friendship and our connection to Jesus.  Ryan was my first client to ever call me Captain Kirk.  I was so happy to see how he turned his life around with the help of Jesus these past several years.

After I closed in prayer and the service ended four people sought me out and wanted to ask Jesus into their lives because of the testimony they had heard.  It was delightfully strange because I gave nothing like an appeal or altar call.  It was totally spontaneous and Spirit led.  Plus there were six others who were interested in substance abuse counseling that took my phone number.  The biggest shocker was an 80 year old man who approached me and began to offer me a chance at becoming the next Pastor at his church.  We had an interesting discussion, but I told him that I don’t believe in Pastors as they operate in the traditional church.  I don’t think he understood what I was saying, but he shook my hand in parting and told me that I had just given the best eulogy he had ever heard.  Most importantly though is that the family was more than satisfied with what I had shared.  Ryan’s Grandmother tried to give me some money, but I told her to keep her cash because I was not a prostitute, because I love and serve people for free.  We had a good laugh and then I gave her a warm embrace.

This next part is going to sound a little weird, but I feel led to share it any way.  When I first began sharing that day in the Spirit I perceived what looked like a sheer closed curtain, like a veil, between me and the crowd.  As I proceeded to share that curtain began to open and by the time we were finished it was completely gone and there was then total freedom.  It was like for the very first time many saw Jesus through the eyes of freedom and grace instead of the veil of the Law and dead religion.  I had never witnessed something like that outside of home meetings.

Today my phone has been ringing off the hook and I have been talking about Jesus with several others who were there yesterday.  The funeral director told me that he has never been in a service so unconventional and where the Spirit flowed so freely.  For me, it was definitely a labor of love. I feel totally spent.  The last five days have been an emotional roller coaster for me with many peaks and valleys.  Most of all I miss my friend.  When I see him again in heaven we will both rejoice in how Jesus used his tragic death to set others free.  Now the task given me is to help the living cope with the loss of such a loved fiance’, father, son, grandson, and friend.  I want to sincerely thank everybody who has been praying for all those impacted by Ryan’s sudden death.  They still need your prayers, as do I.

Love and ….

Kirk Out !


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  1. The Lord give you peace and rest in your body. My times of refreshing come to you from the presence of the Lord.

  2. Wonderful news, my brother! I have often wondered what I would do if called on to speak at a funeral. Frankly, the thought of it scares me. On the other hand, I love to hear about torn veils and walls of separation being demolished. Aslan is in the move! On the morning after election day we senced an open door to us and that the Lord will have us going out more and more and mingling with the people of God. As you know George and I have done very little traveling together over the last 12 years. A week from today we will be going out at the invitation of a group of saints we have just met down in Arizona. It is funny because we will be leaving on 12/7, Pearl Harbor Day, and we will be flying to Arizona… Pheonix to be exact. A brother heard that yesterday and said, “You two Zeros will be going down there and dropping a couple of 500 pounders down the stack of the Arizona.” Well, God later added, “Yes, but by His grace His ekklesia will rise from the ashes in newness of life.” It is amazing what God can do with His zeros.

    “For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he has no stately form nor splendor; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” (Isa 53:2-3 KJ2000)

    I love you, my zero brother!

    • "BK" permalink

      A precious friend of mine once said when you line up all the zeros together you have zero. But when you put the One, Jesus, in front of them they become 10 million billion. 🙂

      “Well, God later added, “Yes, but by His grace His ekklesia will rise from the ashes in newness of life.” That is so right on. I researched the word ‘beauty’ once from Isa 61 ‘He gives beauty for ashes.’ and found that it means exactly what you said! First breakdown is ‘headdress’ but going to the origin it is bright green new growth! So I see it as when we are burned to ashes, out grows a tree of life (bright green & alive!) Who is our true covering (headdress). Thanks Michael and I hope your trip to Phoenix was blessed! Another zero 🙂

  3. Reformed by the Spirit permalink

    It is amazing what God has planned outside of the four walls of religion.

  4. Jill permalink

    I just got caught up and read all of your latest posts. I will definitely be praying for you and for his family. Years ago, a dear friend of mine committed suicide, too, and it can be so hard. I’m so glad he knew Jesus, and that others have been drawn to Him.

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