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Lost In The Woods

October 3, 2012

Greetings,

My earliest memory of Jesus was when I was six years old.  We were at a campground in Pennsylvania and I wandered off into the woods and got lost.  After about an hour in the woods I was crying and very upset that I could not find my way back to our trailer.  Then I just cried out “God please help me?”  Soon after that a man in a white robe with a beard and long hair appeared in the distance and He motioned that I follow Him.  Minutes later I was out of the woods and the man was gone.

A few days later I was alone with my earthly father in our trailer.  He told me to take off my clothes and to strip naked.  This is my first memory of being molested and abused.  However, while my father was abusing me the man who led me out of the woods just days before appeared in the room.  He told me that He loved me and that I was going to be alright and not to worry about what my father was doing to me.

There are at least a dozen other times that I remember being raped and abused by my father and his cousins between the ages of 6 and 10.  And every time the man in the white robe was there reassuring me that I would be alright, speaking words of comfort and peace to me.  There were other times while I was alone that this man came to me and told me of faith, hope, love, relationship and fellowship.  At the time I did not understand all what He was telling me.

Having never been to a church building in my youth it was not until I was 13 that I came to understand that the man in the white robe was Jesus.  Soon after I came to that realization I encountered my very first bible and the things that I read in there confirmed the very things that Jesus had been speaking to me all those years.

I share these things here today because I feel He wanted me to and recently my son asked me to share about the time I got lost in the woods.  Jesus said He would never leave or forsake me and in all these years He hasn’t.  For 13 years I have suffered from PTSD flashbacks of  my being abused, but until recently I saw only the abuse.   However, in the last week when I have the flashbacks I actually see Jesus there with me now.   This, I believe, is a major breakthrough for me and those who love me.  When Jesus is there it takes all the terror away.

I just want to say to everyone that Jesus is always with you, whether you can see Him or not.  For those who believe, He is there to comfort and lead you.  If you are not yet a believer, He is there knocking on the door of your heart saying “Let ME in?”   He wants everyone to follow Him and He desires that we all be healed.  Today I choose to walk in His love and healing.  He is THE Difference maker!  Turn to Him and He will accept, love and lead you.

Love and …..

Kirk Out !

p.s. Thanks for all the support and prayers in my hours of need.

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10 Comments
  1. cathy taylor permalink

    Another awsome blog Christopher and what i see is how God has used your past to make you who are today, our past is used to make our future useful for God’s work, so we have to accept the fast for what it was and let ourselves go forward to the future that God has for us, as long as we realize that God is with us our future is a much better and place, dont keep looking back look ahead!

    • "BK" permalink

      “dont keep looking back look ahead!” Someone once said we can’t make much headway when we are trying to walk forward while looking backward! Thanks, Cathy, for such encouraging words. “BK”

  2. Stephen Roland permalink

    YES CHRIS!!! I am full of joy over this post..

  3. Praise the Lord brother, indeed all things work for the good of those who love God and are called…

  4. This is such a beautiful story Chris. Thank you for sharing it. Not beautiful in that you were so abused but beautiful that Jesus was with you and now you can see Him there in the flashbacks is awesome. He is also doing a lot of deep stuff in me regarding the phobias that have lied to me for so many decades so thanks for your prayers.

  5. nancy permalink

    yahoo!

  6. Martin permalink

    Love you , Man. Thanx for sharing your journey. It wasn’t your fault, and you’re going to be ok.

  7. "BK" permalink

    Mr. Kirk, I believe that Man just may be leading you out of the dark forest that has caused you much crying & anguish for these many years. My heart rejoices, thankful tears flow freely from my eyes. With Martin, I love you, Man………”BK”

  8. "BK" permalink

    I meant to say “out of the dark forest….again” 🙂 “BK”

  9. Jill permalink

    So happy to hear this,Chris…this is what I have been praying for re: your nightmares and flashbacks. Praying that more and more you hear Jesus’ words of comfort, life and healing as you’re walking into more life, more peace, and, dare I say? Joy. Yes, definitely Joy. It’s His heart and what He has for you.

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