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Sonshine In The Valley

September 22, 2012


“My son, preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.  Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.  Have no fear of sudden disaster or of the ruin that overtakes the wicked, for The Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.”  Proverbs 3: 21-26

Jesus loves me this I know for His Spirit tells me so; and so does His body.  The past 10 days have been extremely difficult for me due to lack of sleep and PTSD flashbacks, but last night I was granted 9.5 hours of blissful sleep.  Being well rested has made today much easier for me.  I am still having a few flashbacks, but they have been totally easy to deal with.

When I am rested I can deal with about anything thrown at me, even terrifying flashbacks of my earthly father and his cousins gang raping me.  However, when I am not rested I am easy prey most of the time.    The past 18 months have gone very well for me for the most part and I have not been hospitalized in 10 months.  That is the longest stretch hospital free since the flashbacks began in 1999.  In my eyes that is no small miracle.  So when Proverbs says….  “Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”  I count that as a precious promise and I am very glad that HE applied this promise to me the last 2 days and most of the last 18 months.  I may have stumbled, but I have not fallen down in over a year and a half. Today I am NOT afraid to lie down.  Today my sleep was sweet.

Because of His love and faithfulness I stand upright and free today.  I have learned not to worry about tomorrow and to take each day as it comes.  Today I trust God and His ability to keep me rested and safe.  Jesus has been with me since I was a young child and He has never forsaken me.  Even when I was overwhelmed with flashbacks in past years He was still there attempting to love and comfort me.  Jesus kept me alive even when I tried to kill myself because the flashbacks were brutally intense and never ending.  Today I fully realize that Jesus was always here.  In times past I could not see Him through the memories and the pain, but He still was ALWAYS here.

Through the love and support of The Body Of Christ, I can now see Him in the midst of my struggles.  Your love, support, counsel and prayers have made a tangible difference in my life.  My connection with Christ and His Body is stronger now than ever before.  Even though it has been a difficult week I look forward to tomorrow because of Him and because of you.  Through a network of relational housechurches and those connected via this blog… I know that well over a thousand people have been praying for me this week.  I am not a betting man, but if I were I would bet on me overcoming even more in the days and weeks to come.  Because I belong to Him and so do you. Through Him I shall keep moving forward, even through the valley of the shadow of death.

Love and……

Kirk Out !

p.s.  Hopefully very soon I can continue blogging about something other than PTSD.  Thanks for bearing with me this week.



From → Uncategorized

  1. Great news again Chris. What a huge amount you have overcome in Him. Blessings.

  2. Christ is in you, what ever comes against you is external.

  3. jonathanparham permalink

    Powerful powerful powerful. By His grace you’ve conqured so much. Your testimony of God healing you will bring Glory to Him and help so many others!

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