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Overwhelmed Update

September 21, 2012

Greetings,

“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ”  2 Corinthians 10: 3-5

I deeply appreciate everyone who is waging war by praying for me these past several days.  I am still having some really strong flashbacks, but last night I slept 2.5 hours before they woke me up; then I was able to get back to sleep for another 3 hours after that.  Five and a half hours of great sleep is not to be laughed at in my circumstance.

My mind is a battlefield and in times like these it seems that the enemy has a stronghold in the memories of my childhood abuse.  I am attempting to take captive all those thoughts and make them obedient to Christ, but it is still a massive struggle even with excellent prayer support.

A dear sister in Canada sent me the following:

“….the Lord is your deliverer….when i was praying for you today, i saw you surrounded by ‘her’…the Body..and you were not a little boy, you were a grown man…just as strong as all who were surrounding you….quite a picture of the strength of God…We were all clothed with the armour of God…”

Wow!  I do really feel surrounded by saints praying for me and that helps me to press on forward through the horrible flashbacks and memories that seem to hold me captive at times.  I am making progress though, it has been 18 months since I have had an episode this severe.  I know I can’t face these issues alone, I need Jesus and His Body to hold and comfort me as the battle continues.

Know this… I am doing everything I can to overcome my childhood.  I look to The Lord and His Body first, but beyond that I am cooperating with counseling and also taking medication from an excellent psychiatrist who also is a brother in The Lord.  I have also completed EMDR therapy twice in the last 4 years.  Like I said, progress is being made.  I do not know why complete deliverance has not occurred, but I do know that Jesus has used me in these past 13 years to reach others with similar struggles.  My numerous psych unit admits have been like missionary journeys resulting in numerous folks coming closer to Jesus. I have learned not to question His timing, but I still patiently wait to be rescued from my PTSD hell. 

So today functioning much better with 5.5 hours of sleep under my belt.  Right now I do not fear falling asleep.  Because I know Jesus will see me all the way through this mess.

Love and ….

Kirk Out !

P.s.  I just woke up after sleeping 6.5 hours straight.  Still woke to flashbacks, but feel really rested.  Thanks for the prayers and encouragement everyone!

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4 Comments
  1. Ruth permalink

    Praying for you Chris and sending my love that you know…………this too shall pass!
    Love Ruth

  2. "BK" Zimmer permalink

    So thrilled to read this, Chris. Love, “BK”

  3. It sounds as if it is easing off. Great news. Maybe this will be the last time you have to go through such an intense episode.

  4. Jill permalink

    I will continue to pray for you…so glad to hear that you are starting to get some sleep. Praying for restorative rest for you.

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