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My Hiding Place

February 7, 2012


I really don’t have much to say today so I am not going to try and manufacture something from my intellect.  I am just going to surrender what I have to The Lord and trust that He uses it it.

I have not had a PTSD related flashback since December 21’st.  That is 48 days by my count and the longest stretch without a flashback in over a decade.  I am extremely thankful for this and hopeful that I will continue to heal, on the inside, at His pace.  I still have horrible memories, but they no longer have the power to terrify me and control my life.  

The past two nights these memories of rape and sexual abuse when I was a child woke me out of my sleep.  However, they were not the overpowering nightmares that I have had plague me in the past.  I was quickly able to recognize that these were only memories and I knew that I was in the present and not trapped in the past.  To be able to know when and where I was is a HUGE step in the right direction.  This allowed me to control my thoughts and hand them directly over to The Lord.  As soon as I prayed HE took away the fear and I was able to get right back to sleep and I thought that I could hear someone singing even though no one was here.  All in all pretty amazing stuff.  For the first time in over 13 years I feel totally free from the severe episodes and able to not just function, but thrive in my everyday life.

This morning The Spirit led me to read Psalm 32: 7:  “You are my hiding place; You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

That verse is so accurate.  Jesus is my hiding place and He does protect me.  What about the singing though?  Was it angels that I heard?  I think that is was.  Anyway, thanks to all of you who have been praying for and encouraging me all these years.  I am certain that I would not be here today if not for you.

Love and ……

Kirk Out !


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  1. Pam Smith permalink

    It’s nice to know that we have that place to hide, find refuge and gain strength. It’s not a cowardly thing to do, it’s a place to find and walk in balance and renewed provision and perspective. Good words Chris. We are so happy that you are doing to well. Just know you are in our thoughts, and prayers and we enjoy reading the blogs.

  2. Bill Wood permalink

    hello dear brother……..

    Full deliverance is on the way and all the glory will be to our Strongtower!!!

  3. "BK" Zimmer permalink

    Angels? Indeed, I think so. With a heart full of thankfulness, “BK”

  4. Martin Irwin permalink

    Love ya man! So proud of you, too!

  5. yay!!!! thank you Jesus!!

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