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January 24, 2012


“Praise The Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise His holy name.  Praise The Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits – who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles.”  Psalm 103: 1-5

The Lord is certainly worthy of our praise at all times, even when we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations.  I  made a conscious decision to praise Him throughout my divorce and that choice has helped me to navigate these last ten months without excess emotional pain and suffering.  Sure it has been painful and difficult, but when I turn to Him He lifts me up and carries me through with minimal damage.  When I open up and allow Him to invade my inmost being He floods me with love, grace, mercy and peace.

Now not forgetting His benefits when in difficult situations, that can be really hard to do.  It takes ignoring what is seen and experienced and instead focusing on what is unseen and eternal.  Hard to do, but surrendering the present reality for the better reality of knowing Him and His character is always more than worth it.

Nine months ago I was in the pit of despair and loss.  But now He has forgiven my doubt and sin and I have been experiencing massive healing from my PTSD and related flashbacks. (33 days without a flashback)  I am being restored bit by bit and I have indeed been crowned with love and compassion.  Those who know me best can see and sense the difference He has been making in my life.  Dare I say it, but for the first time in over a decade I have desires and He is indeed satisfying them with many good things.  I feel closer to Jesus and others than I ever have now.

The enemy robbed me of my childhood and then the memories of that childhood took away the last 13 years of my life and cost me a marriage.  However, The Lord has now intervened and I am now actually living life to the fullest.  I feel renewed because I have been renewed.  My simple prayer is that of an old Broken Heart song….”More of Jesus, Less of me”

Love and…..

Kirk Out !


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  1. Ann Tjoelker permalink

    Praise God for all things. When we trully surrender our will to Him then healing and change will happen.I am so happy for you Chris.

  2. Robert permalink

    Both Pam and I were just thinking of that song over the weekend…a great wedding song if I do say so my self…

    Keep going Chris!
    Love you.

  3. Ann, you are smash on. And if you are who I think you are, Earl’s widow, you have experience in this kind of healing. Glad to see you and Chris moving on in Him.

  4. Jill permalink

    Have always loved that song.:) Wow! 33 days! That is amazing. Praying for more healing.

  5. nancy permalink

    There is nothing like resurrection power!

  6. George Medders permalink

    You are Healed! Rock on! Filled with the holy spirit leaves no room for anymore PTSD. Love ya!

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